O.K. - 3 - if you count the limerick at the end.
The First Menopausal Moment was when I bopped into Subway to pick up sandwich. Two, actually, since I had a coupon - buy 1 and get 1 free.
Confidently walked up to the Server "I'll have 2 turkey sandwiches to go please......And I have a coupon." I announced smugly.
Plunked my purse down on the counter. Started rummaging around. No coupon.
O.K. - out comes the car keys, lipstick, nail polish (nail polish? - haven't had my nails done since the beginning of summer), kleenex, hand lotion, etc. etc.
No coupon.
O.K. I'll check out the secret zipper pocket, deep inside my purse.
All this time the Server was waiting patiently.
Ah - ha! "Here it is," I shouted triumphantly waving the coupon about in the air.
The Server looked at me. "Umm.... this coupon is for Dagwood's - not here."
Oops!
Second Menopausal Moment:
I pulled into the gas station to fill up the car. Already late and impatient, I jumped out to fill it myself. The place was very busy - everyone wanted gas, and it was a Self-Serve - but I don't want to wait for the busy Attendant to get to me. So I squashed the hose, filled up my tank, and gave my money to the Attendant. Jumped back in the car and started negotiating my way around cars that were waiting for their turn.
Geeze - this place is too full - let me outta here.
O.K. relax, go get a coffee.
"Please don't stop the music......." sang Rhianna or somebody, over the radio.
"Please don't stop the music..... the music.... the music......."
Oh, I like that song, I thought to myself as I waited for a break in the traffic to pull away from this busy place.
I turned the knob of my radio, so I could hear the song better. Nothing.
Meanwhile, I saw a break and focused my attention on pulling into the traffic. No time to glance down at the radio.
Hey - where did the music go? I turned the knob again - a little louder this time.
Oops - that wasn't my radio - my radio was turned off!! Somebody else must have pulled away from the station, taking my song with them!
And #3 if you want to call these poems and limericks "menopausal moments" - another limerick popped into my head as I was washing up before getting into bed.
Gettin' OldThere are spots on my skin
I've got hairs on my chin
And boobs that sag down to the floor
But I don't care a fig
That my butt's gettin' big
At least I can get through the door!