Ocean Energy....

I've brought back energy from the ocean.

And restored faith in myself.

Taking a break from the Caregiving routine - a total time away has shown me that I can feel "normal" again.

This was so important to me.

For I had begun to doubt myself.

Fatigue, sore muscles, and lack of energy led me to believe that there was something seriously wrong in my body. But once I jumped into the ocean, played in the waves, and lay in the warm sand, all the aches, pains and depression dissolved. Faded away. Gone.

Not on the first day, of course.

On the first day, instead of feeling excited once I checked into the hotel, I felt sad. What was I doing here? All on my own, while poor Hubby was stuck at home (and not feeling well, of course). I knew he would start one of his "down cycles" by the time I was ready to leave. But there was no turning back. I had to go. And I could sense him downplaying his symptoms for my benefit.

Kicking off my shoes, I flopped down on the king-sized bed. Memories of all the wonderful vacations we had taken together, washed over me, and I wished with all my heart we could vacation together again.

After a restless night (I find it hard to sleep most nights, worse in hotel rooms), I awoke to the lure of the ocean. After a quick cup of coffee, I ran down to the beach.

And surrendered.

Surrendered to the soft ocean breeze. The sand between my toes. The cry of the seagull. The enticing waves, washing to shore, calling me to come and play. Or swim, or dance.

Taking a deep breath, I stretched towards the sun. That golden glow permeating my skin; its warmth caressing my face.

"Good morning!" I called to the sky. The waves. The creatures of the deep.

Pulling energy up from the Earth (the sand really), I began.

Gently, yet with purpose, my tai chi routine unfolds.

Focusing my mind on the movements brings a calmness, a sense of peace. Sandpipers skitter at my feet. The gentle lapping of waves grounding, like a heartbeat.

Drawing strength from my surroundings, I relax.
Ahhhhh - bliss!