Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ocean Energy....

I've brought back energy from the ocean.




And restored faith in myself.

Taking a break from the Caregiving routine - a total time away has shown me that I can feel "normal" again.

This was so important to me.
For I had begun to doubt myself.

Fatigue, sore muscles, and lack of energy led me to believe that there was something seriously wrong in my body. But once I jumped into the ocean, played in the waves, and lay in the warm sand, all the aches, pains and depression dissolved. Faded away. Gone.

Not on the first day, of course.
On the first day, instead of feeling excited once I checked into the hotel, I felt sad. What was I doing here? All on my own, while poor Hubby was stuck at home (and not feeling well, of course). I knew he would start one of his "down cycles" by the time I was ready to leave. But there was no turning back. I had to go. And I could sense him downplaying his symptoms for my benefit.

Kicking off my shoes, I flopped down on the king-sized bed. Memories of all the wonderful vacations we had taken together, washed over me, and I wished with all my heart we could vacation together again.

After a restless night (I find it hard to sleep most nights, worse in hotel rooms), I awoke to the lure of the ocean. After a quick cup of coffee, I ran down to the beach.
And surrendered.
Surrendered to the soft ocean breeze. The sand between my toes. The cry of the seagull. The enticing waves, washing to shore, calling me to come and play. Or swim, or dance.

Taking a deep breath, I stretched towards the sun. That golden glow permeating my skin; its warmth caressing my face.

"Good morning!" I called to the sky. The waves. The creatures of the deep.

Pulling energy up from the Earth (the sand really), I began.
Gently, yet with purpose, my tai chi routine unfolds.
Focusing my mind on the movements brings a calmness, a sense of peace. Sandpipers skitter at my feet. The gentle lapping of waves grounding, like a heartbeat.

Drawing strength from my surroundings, I relax.
Ahhhhh - bliss!

21 comments:

Beverly said...

I'm so glad that you were able to get away and get this renewal for your body and spirit.

Next time, come to the West coast of Florida (the BEST coast.)

Wendy said...

Hi Bev, Oh, I agree. I do like the West coast better. Hubby and I have such good memories of Clearwater, watching dolphins play, eating lobster chowder, and just relaxing in a much calmer ocean.

Q said...

Dear Wendy,
I am so very happy you were able to draw energy from the ocean. Sometimes I need the rhythm of the waves to calm me other times I need
the ancient Red Woods to ground me. Always nature to restore.
You were wise to find a spot where you could be cared for by Mother Nature.
Love and light,
Sherry

Maggie May said...

I loved this post as I could share your cares & worries when you let them fall into the sea and feel the peace and joy that engulfed you as the time went by.
Great feeling and you will be strengthened & revitalized by the experience & the break.
Well done for doing this. It was necessary and I am sure husband is none the worse from his break from you.

Kanak Hagjer said...

Loved reading your post. Getting away from any routine is good enough. But from caregiving...., you deserved this break and I'm glad you feel rejuvenated now. Always love to read the way you put your feelings into words.

beckie said...

Wendy, so glad you were able to enjoy yourself and restore your spirit. We all need to do that once in a while, but especially caregivers like you. I am sure you are much better equipped to handle the day to day stresses for a while. Love the thought of you swimming n the ocean!

Celia said...

Wendy, welcome back. Swimming in the ocean, source of all life, glad you're recharged and refreshed.

Cheryl said...

Wendy....I so enjoyed that.....my mind was captivated by your words.....I could hear the waves, feel the warm sand, and I love tai chi.....so healing........

I am so glad you had peace and time for yourself........

Abba's Girl said...

Glad you feel recharged and refreshed. Beautiful pictures...I love Buganvilla (sp?)...

Mark said...

Periods of rejuvination are critical for all of us, even more so for a caregiver. We have to remember to take care of our selves and when we do we are better able to care for those whom we love and cherish. Glad to hear that you surrendered to that which you soooo needed.

Wendy said...

Thanks everyone. You don't know how much this means to me, to be supported by all of you, as I read your kind words. Thanks for sharing my ups and downs.
Love and Light to all.

Wendy said...

Oh, I forgot to say (reinforce actually) how good I do feel now. I'm still running on happy ocean energy. Hubby is getting better a little more each day and I'm just flying!

Ruth said...

So glad you had a good holiday and have returned so refreshed. I love bougainvillea flowers so much ...lovely pink in your blooms.

Morning Glories in Round Rock said...

Oh Wendy! What a wonderful post! I am so glad that you were able to find your center again through the ocean. There is something so primal about it, that our very soul answers to. This vacation was so very necessary for you, and I am glad that Hubby was able to let you go long enough to allow you to find your renewal. Have you ever read Gifts From The Sea by Anne Lindberg? You would identify so much with her.

Shammickite said...

Your decision to enjoy a few days in a completely different environment was obviously the right one. So glad that you feel refreshed and your energy has been restored. And the promise of warm spring and summer weather should keep you going....

Grammy said...

I FELT LIKE i WAS THERE WITH YOU IN YOUR WORDS. OH WHAT A RENEWAL OF SPIRIT! I NEED TO GO TO THAT BEACH TOO.

Rose said...

Such a beautiful post, Wendy! There is something so comforting, so peaceful about the ocean, and oh, what it must be like to do Tai Chi in such a setting! I enjoy my weekly Tai Chi classes so much, but how much more meditative it must be to perform the routines with the sound of the ocean right beside you.
I am so glad you were able to get away; sounds like just what the doctor ordered!

ramblingwoods.com said...

I am so happy that you trip was healing...and I love the post above with your grandson..cute..cute..

Beverly said...

so glad that the bread helped...the ocean and sand always bring me strength. Did you go alone? I have always wanted to do that...especially since I can never find someone to go with....
Remember to draw on the trip when you need it...

Wendy said...

Thanks all, yes, I do draw strength from the ocean. It is so healing for me.

Jen, I did read "Gifts from the Sea" quite a while ago. Must read it again. I don't remember much of it, except that I liked it.


Shammickite, I will remember to draw on this ocean energy when the days are gloomy.

Concerning tai chi. Whenever I'm away (which is usually at the ocean) I start my day with tai chi on the beach. It's wonderful! When I'm at home, I pretend I'm at the beach. I know others prefer mountain air or forest air, but for me it's ocean air.

Bev, yes I do travel alone. If I wait for others to have time to travel, I'll never go anywhere!

white_lilly said...

What a lovely post I felt as I read it you were unwinding and coming to terms why you were really there. It sounds exactly what you need so lap it all up and refresh your self

xoxoxo