Thursday, November 1, 2007

So far, so good

So far, hubby has not contracted my cold. We are being so careful. Handwashing fastidiously, cleaning bathroom sinks, washing towels, scrubbing countertops vigourously - all to avoid spreading this cold virus. Ask any COPD'er and they will tell you - a cold could be deadly.

I wear a mask when preparing food, hubby serves himself. He makes his own coffee and tea. We are sleeping apart.

I feel like an outcast! But - this is totally necessary. It will be well worth it to spare him the miseries of a simple cold. Simple for me, but with his weakened immune system, could lead to pneumonia and months of convalescing - or not.

So, we take our precautions to the extreme.

So far, so good.
I am impressed - maybe he's already had this virus and made antibodies. Maybe he has a hidden well of strength - enough to fight this off.

But something strange is happening. I have had to loosen my grip. Have had to back off a little in my "caring". My focus is still Caregiver, but I've had to look after myself and my cold. After scrubbing the kitchen, I take a rest, read a book - no matter what hubby is doing.

In other words, I am not hovering over Hubby, making his coffee, turning down his O2 when he goes to sleep, or even helping him change his tanks. He is perfectly capable of doing this on his own - yet I've always been right there helping out. And waiting to look after my needs when he is sleeping.

Was I doing too much?
Is this better for both of us?

As time goes on, we will find out.
But as long as he continues to stay "cold-free", I am happy.


Nancy said...

Wendy--so glad to hear that hubby has not caught your cold!!!!!

I also struggle with doing too much. I know there is alot I do for Tom that he could do for himself....and I know there are things he asks me to do, that he could do for himself. I wonder if I make it worse by doing too much....and I feel guilt for not doing enough.

Today is a "down" day for us. Tom's been sleeping most of the day. Nebulizer treatments and the bi-pap aren't providing much relief.

So, we endure the bad days and rejoice with the good days.


Wendy said...

Hi Nancy,
That just about sums it up - endure the bad days and rejoice with the good!
This seems to be a challenge for me at this point and it sounds like for other Caregivers too - how much do we do? And how much to we expect our loved ones to do?
Food for thought.
I hope you and hubby are feeling better and have a good weekend.