Saturday, February 16, 2008

I Move Forward in Life with Joy and Ease

... is the affirmation for sore feet that Louise Hay advises in her book "You Can Heal Your Body".

I have plantar fasciitis. It hurts to walk.
For months I swept this irritating problem under the carpet.
Perhaps if I ignore it, it will go away.

Right! It never just "goes away". Physical problems usually get worse. But I still ignore my body more often than not.

A couple of weeks ago, however, I decided I'd had enough. So, I went to my doctor (anyone who knows me knows my husband is a doctor, but who listens to their husbands?)

She confirmed my diagnosis (isn't the net wonderful? We can all self-diagnose and get a head start on treatment). And sent me for physio. Physio? What the heck? My feet are sore. The last thing I need is exercise.

But - she was right.

My first physio appointment was on a messy, sloppy, snowy day. The driving sucked. The clinic parking lot was full. I drove around forever and finally found a really tight spot that someone else had just vacated. It was a tight squeeze and I prayed the cars on each side of me wouldn't dent mine as they tried to manoeuver out of that squishy space.

I was 15 minutes late. Nobody really cared. But I watched the clock to make sure I got my full hour treatment.
I learned some exercises, had an ultrasound treatment and was told to buy "heel cups" to put in my shoes.
I walked up to the desk to pay my bill.

"Do you have your parking ticket?" inquired the receptionist.
I checked my purse. Not there. My pockets. Not there either.
"Must have left it in my car" I mumbled, feeling like a school kid.
"Well, you'll have to go and get it"

Fine. I marched to the car on tender tootsies. Searched it high and low. No ticket. That meant I couldn't get out of the parking lot.
Now I was getting mad. Just because of a lousy piece of paper, I can't get home? Puleeese!

I walked over (on tender tootsies, remember) to the entrance; waited until nobody was looking and punched the button that releases the gate to let you in, and pushes out a ticket.
Nothing happened. I tried again, just to make sure.
Still nothing.
Darn! There must have been some sort of sensor that looked me up and down and decided I wasn't a car. You're not a car, so you don't get a ticket and the "arm" stays firmly down.

I trudged back to the physio office.
"I can't find it", I told the girl, preparing for a fight.
"Oh, no problem". She handed me a token so I could get out.
Well, why didn't she just do that in the first place!!!!

Back to the car. Thank goodness it was still wedged in that tiny space. I carefully backed out and went home.

Deciding I needed all the help I could get with these feet, I picked up Louise Hay's book. Her philosophy is that for every problem in the body, there is an emotional reason.

So I looked up "foot problems" and got:
"Fear of the future, of moving forward in life."

Well that nicely stripped away my defenses for coping with Hubby's illness. I guess I am afraid of what life will be like when he's no longer here.

The affirmation: I Move Forward in Life with Joy and Ease.
Sounds like a plan.
Now I know where to put my focus, as I grapple with moving into Acceptance - away from Fear and towards Joy.


Carol D. O'Dell said...

I enjoyed your post. It really resonated with me--a fellow caregiver and limper.

I'm a former (and I'm sure I will be again) caregiver--to both parents, most recently my mom who had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

I too, have plantar fasciitis, (is it a caregiving thang?) and what a lightbulb moment when I read, "fear of the future--of moving forward."
I'm so brave on the outside. No one would expect this of me. But that quiet little girl voice inside me can't deny that maybe that's where I've been the last few months.
I had a breakthrough--a real life changing year--and yes, I know that even more phenomenal surprises are barreling my way.

I've journaled, vision boarded, and said out loud "I'm ready for change!"

But here's my tootsies giving me another message--a whisper--you might want to look at this.

The "cure" for plantar fasciitis is stretching.
The more I stretch, the better my foot feels.

Guess I better try stretching in the rest of my life, huh?

~Carol D. O'Dell
Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir
available on Amazon

Wendy said...

Hi Carol
Thanks for your comments. Yes, it was a "lightbulb" moment for me too! I thought I had everything under control (read: fear), but apparently not!
Yes, I do my stretching exercises. And they are finally helping. The thing is you have to be consistent. And you have to be gentle with yourself. I consider myself a "gentle person", yet when it comes to something new or trying to fix something, I go at it hammer and tongs. In the beginning I was stretching sooooo much, I got sore back-of-my-knees and a sore shoulder from pushing against the wall while holding a calf stretch. You get the picture.
I really really hate that part where when you get up first thing in the morning, your feet give way. It makes me feel soooo weak! I told my physio "what happens if the house is on fire? " I am so used to jumping up out of bed (not for a fire, usually to pee first thing in the a.m.), that NOT being able to walk makes me feel helpless. I can only imagine how my husband feels - there is no way he can walk fast - anytime.
All that to say - it will get better, Carol. I guess this is a lesson in caring for ourselves - and letting go of fear.

MoM2-2GoodBoys said...

Very nice post Wendy~

I too, have plantar fasciitis, and agree with Carol. The more I stretch the heal and back of my leg the better my foot feels. I like standing on the stairs and letting my heals dip down below the stair that I am on. It feels soooo good.

I really like the way you write and agree that it is a fear of the future and moving forward issue. We cannot stop time from marching on but we can come to an acceptance of it's contiuence and move forward with joy and ease.

Keeep up the stretching.


Grandmother Goddess of the Garden said...

I'vee enjoyed your posts...thanks too for stopping by my blog! I like the new picture of yourself you posted! Oh to hold a baby!

Wendy said...

Thanks Mary for your comments. I can't believe another person with plantar fasciitis! Wow - it must be more common that I thought. Even younger people have it!
Yes - we'll keep on stretching!

Wendy said...

Hi Grandmother Goddess of the Garden. It took some time to put up a picture, because I only seem to get my picture taken holding a baby. I looked for one of me alone and didn't find any. Then I asked Hubby to take my pic in the house and it didn't turn out. So, I threw in the towel and just posted one of me taken last year the day my granddaughter was born.

I agree - my idea of pure bliss is to hold a baby close to me.