Monday, January 21, 2008

Something weird happened in the night.

I don't sleep well at night.
When my husband was first diagnosed with COPD, I would awaken several times during the night to make sure he was breathing.
This became a pattern.
Now, I rarely sleep a full night. Actually never. I always wake up for some reason.

For a long time Hubby blamed my insomnia on hormones. He didn't want to feel responsible for my wakefulness. He was partly right. Hot flashes are not conducive to a good night's sleep.

I have learned over the past year that I must stop checking on Hubby constantly. Whatever will be will be. I cannot change his COPD. I cannot stop his disease process. I cannot "save" him when he stops breathing forever.

Last night, I was sound asleep. Actually, it was in the wee hours of the morning.
Probably around 4:00 or 5:00.
"WENDY!!!" someone yelled.
I awoke with a start!
Who was that? And why did they yell at me?

Instinctively, I reached over and put my hand on Hubby's back (he was sleeping on his stomach). I thought it felt still. No reassuring up and down movement.

So, I smacked him - not too hard, but enough to make him roll around.

What had just happened?
Did he really stop breathing for a minute or two? Did I get a real call from a real angel or spirit?
Or was it nothing at all?


JOY said...

All perfectly normal my dear!! I haven't slept a real peaceful full night in at least 7 years! (Well, maybe one or two)My hubby could never sleep on his tummy or even his side for that matter~Hurts his lungs, he says!We did get out for a couple of hours today to run a few errands, wouldn't put the top down on the convertible tho-he thought it was too cold I thought it was perfect.It was sunny & kinda cold here. I check all the time to see if he's still breathin' too, since he has sleep apnea.I'm certain he does "stop breathing for a minute" but that's "normal" for him since he was in the habit of holding his breath while he was painting. It's fear.That's all it is. I guess you just never really get used to it do ya?! He talks in his sleep, usually near morning.That's why I always try to get to sleep before him so I'm awake by then. Maybe it was a dream if he didn't remember calling out your name.But honestly, I've nudged him many times while he was sleeping when his breathing 'seemed' to stop and then he'd take a big breath & continue dreaming~ (& talkin')

Freadom said...

You have a really nice blog here. I am adding it to my blogroll over in the RT cave.

Wendy said...

Hey Joy,
I guess I'm not the only one who checks Hubby during the night. I am sure most (if not all) of us do.
The weird thing was that voice calling my name was a female voice . A voice I did not recognize.
Very strange.
But, as you said it probably was fear playing around in my head.

Anonymous said...

Did your husband request you stop beating up on him at night? At least I was sneaky and held mirrors etc. to see whether breathing was continuing.

Some wakefulness is probably hormones too, I remember when I went through menopause the gal across the street and I said that we were going to hold conversations via morse code and our blinds at 2am every morning. We both woke at exactly the same time.


Wendy said...

Hey Freadom,
Thanks for stopping by to visit my blog. I'll check out your RT Cave, as long as there are no dragons guarding the entrance.

Wendy said...

HI Judy,
Ah yes, those fickle female hormones of menopause. Do you really get over it one day? Those hot flashes and waking up at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. EVERY night????

Sneaky - using mirrors! Will have to remember that one.

Thanks for posting.